Co-sleeping: for, against and the safety rules
Co-sleeping is one of the most contested topics in parenting. For some families it is a rescue, for others a source of sleep deprivation and anxiety. Let's go through the arguments for and against without ideology — and, above all, the safety rules if you sleep next to your baby.
First, the terms: these are not the same thing
- Room-sharing (sleeping in the same room) — the baby sleeps in their own cot or bassinet, but in the parents' room. This is what the leading paediatric organisations recommend for at least the first 6 months: close by, but on a separate surface.
- Bed-sharing (sleeping in the same bed) — the baby sleeps on the same surface as an adult. This is what the main safety debate is about.
- A bedside crib (sidecar) — the compromise: a cot with one side removed, pushed right up against the parents' bed. The baby is on their own surface, but within arm's reach.
Important: when people say "we are for / against co-sleeping", they often mean different things. Room-sharing and a bedside crib are a way of being close and at the same time lowering the risks through a separate surface.
Safe sleep rules (they always apply)
Wherever your child sleeps, the basic rules of safe infant sleep are the same:
- On the back. Always put a baby down to sleep on their back.
- A firm, flat surface. No sagging, no soft mattresses.
- Nothing around them. No pillows, blankets, padded bumpers or soft toys next to a baby.
- Not too warm. A sleep sack instead of a blanket, temperature 18–22°C.
- A smoke-free environment. Smoking sharply raises the risks.
Bed-sharing is categorically not recommended if: the baby is under 4 months old or was born preterm or with a low birth weight; any of the adults smokes, has drunk alcohol, has taken sleeping medication or is very tired; the sleeping surface is soft (a sofa, an armchair, a water bed) — sleeping with an adult on a sofa or in an armchair is always dangerous. In these cases choose a separate surface nearby (room-sharing or a bedside crib).
The arguments in favour
- It is easier to establish breastfeeding and night feeds — less getting up.
- Many parents and children sleep more, and more peacefully, in total.
- Closer physical contact; it is easier for the baby to settle.
- Convenient in the first months, on trips, and during illness.
The arguments against
- With bed-sharing the risks are higher if the strict safety conditions are not observed (see below).
- The parents' own sleep can become lighter.
- A strong "sleep = parent's body" association — it is harder to retrain to a separate bed later.
- Less personal space for the couple.
The compromise many families choose
A bedside crib or bassinet pushed right up against the parents' bed gives you the best of both worlds: the baby is on their own safe surface, but you can reach over, settle and feed them almost without getting up. This is often the optimal option for the first 6–12 months.
How to move to a separate bed later
If your child is used to sleeping right beside you and you have decided to separate sleep, do it gradually:
- First a bedside crib with the side removed → then the side put back up.
- Then the cot in the same room, but a little further away.
- Then the move to their own room (usually comfortable closer to 1.5–3 years).
- Keep the routine and the sleep "anchors" (sack, noise, toy) so that the transition rests on something familiar.
Frequently asked questions
Up to what age is it better for a child to sleep in the parents' room?
Sleeping in the same room (on a separate surface — their own cot or bassinet) is usually recommended for at least the first 6 months. That is not the same as sleeping in the same bed. Room-sharing lets you respond quickly at night while keeping a safe separate surface for the baby.
Which is safer — sleeping together or a bedside crib?
A bedside crib is considered the safer compromise: the baby is on their own firm, flat surface with no pillows or blankets, but within arm's reach. Leading paediatric organisations do not recommend sleeping together on one surface: what is considered safe is a separate surface in the same room. The safety conditions listed in this article reduce the risk but do not remove it, and where there is smoking, alcohol or severe tiredness in the adults, and on soft surfaces, co-sleeping is not acceptable.
Is it true that a child who has co-slept will never move out of the bed?
It is not that they "never will", but the transition usually takes time: a strong association forms between sleep and the parent's body. Separate gradually — a bedside crib, then their own cot nearby, then a separate room — keeping the familiar routines. For most children this passes calmly closer to 1.5–3 years.
Can you take the baby into your bed just for a feed?
Feeding at night in your own bed is possible, but it is important not to fall asleep together with the baby on a soft surface and, all the more so, on a sofa or in an armchair — that is dangerous. It is safer to feed and return the baby to their own separate surface. If there is any risk of dozing off, clear the pillows and blankets out of the baby's area beforehand.
A sleep schedule calculated for your child
Baby Sleep Planner adapts the plan to your child from just 4 days of the diary: it works out wake windows and today's bedtime by age and by your child's own rhythm. The first observations about your child appear from day 10, and the analysis of schedule changes from day 14.
Open Baby Sleep Planner